I came to realize this was a case of guys growing up in a slightly backwards environment getting acclimated to such talk. They weren't particularly hostile toward African-Americans and in fact worked alongside them from time to time. This was just a manner of speech that they had gotten used to, wrong as it is.

But it made me also realize that just because I became acclimated to "bitch" and "bitching" doesn't mean that it's OK, or that I've fully and totally disassociated the word with it's sexist connotation. Same with calling weak people "pussies." Grew up with that in high school athletics, and now it's a word I would never use.

Just because your intent was not sexist does not mean the word isn't sexist.[0] It's the same reason we frown upon people saying "faggot" even though they might not be directing it at a gay person.

> You can also say someone's "dicking around", and it doesn't have the same gendered connotation as "dick."

Because it doesn't have the same root.

[0]: http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/intent-its-fucki...

I don't find it offensive, but it is sexist. It just shows a lack of forethought on your part and a lack of understanding of gender norms/privilege/etc.

Subtlety assigning words like that is sexist. And dicking around does have gendered connotations, if you don't realize that then see statement one.